I am proud to present to you, our very first episode! Now keep in mind that editing takes longer than writing an essay in binary. The work might be a bit rough around the edges now, but we see ourselves as diamonds in the rough. So, with your support and contribution, we hope to bring you fantastic origional content. Tell us what you think.

I woke up one morning with a spring in my step. Today was the day that I would hop onto eBay and buy myself a brand new Macbook. The Ferrari of the Racing world, the Mustang of the muscle world, the Evo of the boy racer, the Louis Vuitton of the fashion world, the PS3 of the gaming world and the Methamphetamine of the drug lords. Its magnetic poles pulled me in all directions, the smooth edges made me melt and the piano white case had a tantalizing effect on me.My heart stopped as i clicked on that “Buy Me Now!” button and proceeded to jump for joy as the rocky theme song played in the background. The world was all of a sudden in slow motion.

A few days later…

After being told by the seller that my item would take a month to ship, i nearly went into cardiac arrest. With my pulse slow and my heart weak, I proceeded to file a claim with Paypal. Because I could smell a fried circuit (aka something fishy). My desire to know more did not stop there, after pulling a few strings and sending a few emails. I discovered that the seller was a convicted serial rapist and bankrupt. By now, I was ready for a quadruple bypass.

10 days later…

I opened up thunderbird, for what must have been the 14537th time. My pulse strengthened once again as i saw an email from Paypal. After contemplating whether to open it or not, I did the unthinkable… I left clicked and closed my eyes. The suspense started to build and a drop of sweat started to form on my hairline, it trickled down my nose. Coincidentally i felt as if i was diffusing a bomb. I proceeded to slowly open my eyes, being careful to make any sudden movements. To my surprise the rocky theme song started again and the words “Rejoice! Rejoice!” began to ring in my ears. Once again like my younger days I jumped up and down and once again the blood flowed like a river through my veins. Paypal had recovered my money and I would see it again.

5 Days Later…

Today was the day…I would finally get my money back from Paypal. I logged into my usually empty bank account and saw the funds there. The excitement was overwhelming as i went onto apple.co.nz. Not wanting to buy another product from a convicted bankrupt serial rapist, as I found that they aren’t very good at business, I decided to take the more expensive but safer option. I went to the education store and wend through with my purchase. The next few days were slower than a turtle on prozac…

2 Days later

It was at around 6.30 in the morning when there was a knock on my door. I am usually up at 5.30 so to me this knock seemed unusual. I walked towards my door expecting mormons or Jehovas witnesses or even worst…Chuck Norris. I opened my door with a crackle and a creek, when it was slightly open I took a peek. To my surprise it was a courier with a package for me. My life flashed before my eyes as he raised the box up to my face and i could say the inscription “From Apple” on the one laptop to rule them all. I was so excited that I could almost hug him, however I couldn’t break the secret code of the geek guild, the code of little to no human interaction.

I ran upstairs and got dressed for university, or as the yanks like to call it “Cawledge”. I wanted to open it when I had time to admire its beauty, to say sweet things to it, to make it breakfast in bed and even write poems on it.

Later on the same day…

After sitting through a java lecture given by a lecturer who was older than the first computer itself, I ran out the door as if hiding a bomb in my anti-balistic nylon bag. I ran up to the street to my local bus stop…waiting….and waiting…..then waiting some more. Until I saw the holy grail of buses, the 224, the only bus with a direct route to my house. After a long and sweaty 75 minute journey. I ran home, it was a bit like a triathlon, involving a walk to the bus stop, the bus ride and the run home. I proceeded to run upstairs, faster than Dave Chappelle used to run from the Police. There it was, in all its pearly glory. I ripped the box open, however slowed down when i got to the actual Macbook box.

I wanted to savor the moment, I wanted to remember it as being the beginning of a new legacy, the legacy of the Mac. I slowly opened the box and lifted up the Macbook, being careful not to let any bacteria hit it in mid air. I tore open the protective case and the Macbook slid right out. Its beauty was mesmerizing, the case was so shiny, the screen so glossy and the iSight, oh the iSight is like the window to its soul. I closed my eyes and plugged the power chord into the Macbook, this is one of the few things that a geek can do with his eyes closed and in the dark.

My fingers started to walk towards the power button, like the cliche´ Yellow pages ad. I turned it on and the Welcome video started. This was almost as entertaining as Muhammad Ali’s knockout punch with Sonny Liston. This entertained me as much as Martha Steward decorating her kitchen and it was more satisfying than Mike Tyson biting off Holyfield’s ear.

I started to use leopard and my first words to my windows based laptop was “Sorry baby, we have to go our own seperate ways, you are simply not as shiny. You are lazy and when i tell you to cook me some eggs you end up burning them. You aren’t as quick as you used to be and i am starting to hate that BLUE dress that you always wear. Im sorry, you just have to move on, I am with a mac now”.

I started to download some loepard updates and decided to brows the Apple store, little did I know that my luck was going to run out. What I saw on the screen nearly made me punch something, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t possibly exert that much kinetic energy, thats all the energy I need to get me through a whole day.

I started blacking out as my heart beat got fainter and fainter. Apple had just updated their website, but that wasn’t the only thing that Apple had updated…

I started down this black hole which was previously my pretty Macbook LCD, only to see the new Macbooks. Yes you read right, Apple had updated their whole laptop range. My heart was litterally ripped out as I started to doubt my relationship with my Macbook. I knew what I had to do, the new ones were shinier and packed a bigger punch. I would have twice the memory to play with and because of the increased processed speed, i could do more things at any given time. My current Macbook just wasn’t cutting it…it was time to say goodbye.

So I rang the nice people on the Apple Hotline and a nice lady whose name I don’t recall picked up. She asked me how she could help me and I explained the whole thing, how my heart was torn out and how I wanted the new shiny one. She assured me that she could get me one for no extra cost at all, upon hearing this I started to jump up and down. Why some may ask? Because I had University fees to pay and frankly didn’t want to live off baked beans.

The next day…

So before I knew it, there was a knock on my door. A nice man from TNT Express said in a deep voice “Im here for the Package sir”. So I proceeded to walk towards my baby, I turned her off for one last time and gave the Macbook one last clean. Once I was convinced that it was in prestine condition, I carried it to the door with pride and joy. 

Then it started…

The longest wait of my life, everyday was more agonizing than the previous. I felt as if i was waiting for a life saving transplant. I needed my macbook and I needed it now! But there was nothing that I could do, I just had to wait and watch. I couldn’t take my eyes off the driveway, wanting and waiting for that TNT Express to turn into my driveway. Until I finally got sick of it and gave up. 

So it was on a calm and sunny day, while I was progamming on my computer that I heard something big roll into my driveway. No it wasn’t interpol coming to arrest me for hacking, it was a massive blue truck. 

The time had come…

This was it, my baby was finally here. After a long and treacherous journey, through hills and valleys, through rivers and seas, amongst flowers and bees, and big massive trees. She had finally made it to me and this was our time. So I grabbed it off him and rushed up to my room to open it up. So much more beautiful, although it looks just like my last one. This one had something the other didn’t, remember when your mum always tells you not to judge a book  by its cover? Well she was right, they make look the same but inside this baby there is so much more. 200 Mhz and 1 GB more to be precise.

So that’s it, that is my quest for an Apple Macbook. I hope that you liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please subscribe to view more great content from me. Join our forums for free computer help and subscribe to your youtube channel. 

The End